Okay, it's 2 in the morning and now all my epiphanies decide to emerge. My brain literally needs to stop thinking so much. Anyway, I'm beginning to realize a lot of things. The most important one is TO GET MY DUCKS IN A ROW. I must say this is one of the most honest and truest advises that I have received. I couldn't agree more.
I really need to start getting my priorities straight, but to be honest, I'm a little uncertain about how to execute the actions to get my goals done and struggling to bring myself to want to even do so. I guess I'm going to need some help with that. Rather, I need to motivate myself and make myself want to. I guess only I can help MYSELF. I'm quite overwhelmed at the amount of goals that I want to accomplish, but I guess that's what happens when a person such as myself, expects so much and wants everything to be done almost perfectly. Maybe I should change my outlook and see things at a different perspective. I'll try to be optimistic and do things one at a time while setting a deadline for each goal. Well, the short term ones at least. That way I'll gradually get things out of the way until I have no more things to do. The long-term goals are a whole other story though.
So, short-term goals; get learner's permit; enroll in a driver's ed class and get my license, try to save up for a car, study for CSI entrance exam, apply for college and then enroll for some classes, and lose at least 10 pounds. I'll probably even try to work out as much as possible.
As for long-term goals....I'll list them another time.
In other news, I need to stop being concerned with love and trying to find a guy to talk to. I'm such a huge hypocrite. I give advice about these things to people and how they shouldn't get into these things if they're unsure if they want a significant other in their lives. I should just follow my own advice from now on and enjoy life just as it is. This kind of thing should be the least of my worries. I can't help it. I'm constantly bored and have very few friends that ACTUALLY want to hang out with me. I don't know. I'll have to stop worrying about others that probably don't worry about me too much. Moreover, it would be great if one of my friends actually texted me FIRST, instead of me constantly being the first one to do so. Am I not that fun of a person? Am I missing something that barely anyone wants to have anything to do with me? I don't know anymore and I guess I shouldn't waste my time worrying about it anymore.
I have also decided to deactivate my Facebook for two weeks. I just find it ridiculous how I'm on my phone 50% out of the 24 hours of day just to scroll through the miscellaneous things that people that I'm not even that close to post, and chances are, I probably don't care. I've seen enough pictures of baby showers and weddings and dogs to last me a decade (if I were to choose to live under a rock or remote island for that duration). I need a social media detox and have to get back in touch with reality and have some actual, quality conversations with real life people. I've accomplished day two of not having a Facebook, and I'm quite impressed at myself. I guess I can survive through not having a Facebook. As for Instagram and snapchat, those two things are going to take time to wean me off of. Right now, I don't feel ready to let those two go just yet. I do love taking self portraits of myself and snapping my friends pictures and what not. The only downside with Instagram is that, it seems like I'm on it just so I can post a picture of myself and then wait to see how many people have liked that post. It's as if I'm losing my own self-worth and using those likes to validate myself. It's VERY sad. I've become so vain and worried about my appearance. So, I'll just post things up there from now on when I actually have something to post. As for snapchat, I'll dwindle the amount of stories I share from now on. I mean, it's not like anyone cares enough to message me about what's happening in them anyway. Speaking of snapchat, people rarely even send me anything on there. I'll try to check on it less often then.
I've also decided to unfollow the handsome marines that I followed on Instagram 2 months ago. Why? Well, I guess it's because it was a phase and once I found out that they all liked only white girls with blonde hair and blue eyes, I asked myself; "What am I gonna do? Bleach my hair and wear blue eye contact lenses just so they'll like how I look? That's preposterous!" Following them has given me unrealistic ideals of what type of guy that I fancy should like. Speaking of ideals, I need to stop being so shallow and lower my standards a bit (on guys' appearances). The more I expect, the more I'll end up disappointing myself.
So yeah, this is my rant. That's all I have to say. Till next time!
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