Things Might be Getting Bad Again...

           Ever since I came back from my trip to California, things have been going awry with my relationships with people (some of who I want to end my friendships with, but they just can't seem to take the fact that we're no longer on the same page anymore) and as always, my circadian rhythm is all sorts of messed up. God, I really wish I could just be on good terms with everyone and have some peace of mind. Recently, I've been engaging in several types of self-sabotage (e.g., sleeping at 5 or 6 a.m. when I know I have work at 3 pm, eating junk, and not doing anything productive at home, except just laze around all day, and vent to my other friends about people who I having issues with). I don't know why, but I've just been too lazy to get things off my chest via blogging. Hopefully today's entry will be cathartic and help me brain dump. 

         On Friday, I had an altercation with a co-worker/friend via text because I blocked her for not following up with our plans. I guess the blocking feature on my phone didn't work that well because she was still able to call and text me. I was quite shocked with what she had to say. I've never seen her so belligerent in our last three years of knowing each other. She was cursing me out and telling me that I was a self-centered bitch for not asking her what was so bad that had happened. Moreover, she was the one who fell asleep on me when I tried to call her before blocking her. All I did was call her out on her chronic lateness and forgetfulness of the plans she makes with me. Yes, I know there's been several times where I have dodged her, but it's because of that reason. She made me wait 2 hours at the Ferry on two different occasions, and that almost gave me the impression that I was stood up. Not only did she call me a self-centered bitch, but she also went on to say that I'm hard to get along with and that I'm the problem not the other people I've got issues with. First of all, I'm not the only one to blame in every situation, because it's pretty obvious that the people I'm having issues with are the ones who are not getting the memo that we're just not improving by continuing the connection. I know I haven't been the best of friends to some people, but people aren't perfect. I've at least tried to be as kind and loyal to them as possible. I even went as far as to take the blame and was forced to apologize, which was kind of preposterous. I always answered her questions about and listen to her complain about her boss and her love life and I would get one or two words in throughout every conversation. To be honest, if she couldn't be civil while having an argument, then who knows what it'll be like in the future if I continue with her? 

          I'm self-centered? Aren't there multitudes of other people who are as well? God...Please let things go well for me from now on. Maybe I'll go to counseling tomorrow....